To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee, -
And revery.
The revery alone will do
If bees are few.
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924. Part Two: Nature, XCVII.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows and the government gives one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you some milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and incomes rise. You sell them all and you plan to retire with high profit margin but in the meantime, the exchanges plunge because of the intervention by ICTUC (International Trade Cow Unlimitted Corporation).
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one and pursued the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire experts to investigate the why the cow died.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Enter into the strike because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. Redesign them to be a tenth of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. Then register a clever little manga, call it Cow-mon and distribute them all over world.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you do not know where they are. Go on a break
for lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and again learn you have five cows. Re-count and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim
that the employment of 100%, milk production is high and arrest the journalist who
published figures.
INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them until they die.
Shteyt a bokher, un er trakht
Trakht un trakht a gantse nakht
Vemen tzu nemen un nisht farshemen
Vemen tzu nemen un nisht farshemen
((chorus))
Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbalalaika, shpil balalaika
Tumbalalaika, freylekh zol zayn
Meydl, meydl, kh'vil bay dir fregn,
Vos ken vaksn, vaksn on regn?
Vos ken brenen un nit oyfhern?
Vos ken benken, veynen on trern?
((chorus))
Narisher bokher, vos darfstu fregn?
A shteyn ken vaksn, vaksn on regn.
Libe ken brenen un nit oyfhern.
A harts ken benken, veynen on trern.
((chorus))
Vos iz hekher fun a hoyz?
Vos iz flinker fun a moyz?
Vos iz tifer fun a kval?
Vos iz biter, biterer vi gal?
((chorus))
A koymen iz hekher fun a hoyz.
A kats iz flinker fun a moyz.
Di toyre iz tifer fun a kval.
Der toyt iz biter, biterer vi gal.
((chorus))
samizdat |ˈsɑmizˈˈdøt|
noun
the clandestine copying and distribution of literature banned by the state, esp. formerly in the communist countries of eastern Europe.
ORIGIN 1960s: Russian, literally ‘self-publishing house.’
mély tisztelettel
in all submissiveness.
